Remembering back a few years ago, one of the more personal sad days of my life was the day I donated all my music equipment to the local high school. I had pretty much lost my voice and some measure of the tremors had affected my ability to play my keyboards. It was the first major reckoning that I was entering a different phase of life. Not a little hick-up but a life changing moment. I had been a musician and playing one instrument or another since age thirteen. And singing, well that had always been my first love no doubt.
The music was the first to go and then came the outdoor activity which had been over the course of my lifetime the only outdoor game or sport, however you want to define it, I had really participated in with any measure of regularity. And that would be the game of golf.
In a journal entry of mine back in September of last year titled “Bucket List Item…. Clean out the old man’s attic!” I discussed the cleaning out of my attic as a self-proclaimed act of burial preparation. Of course as one soon realizes when taking on of such a project is that you will quickly find that what was a rather neat and organized living area, you are now faced with crap lying around and stacked up in almost every room in the house. I certainly realized this was going to be the aftermath of such a project but if you suffer from Organization Compulsive Disorder your anxiety and stress levels are sure to elevate.
And so now I had a clean attic but the inside of my home looked like “Hoarder’s Paradise”. So my first idea was to just photograph everything and either offer it for sale or just give it away. After all, with my COPD there was little else I could do anyway. A garage sale would have been an excellent way to dispose of a majority of items but not a chore that I could have easily handled physically. I did over the course of a few weeks manage to give away some old picture frames, framing mat boards and a few of those metal cookie/candy storage tins.
But the elephant in the room was my golf clubs. Selling or even giving them away would mean final closure on yet another of my life’s pleasures and enjoyments. But at this point it had been several years since I had even picked up a golf club so I gathered up my two sets of clubs and my mother’s old set she used when she was alive and prepared them for a donation to the Big Brothers/Big Sisters local donation center along with a ton of my old clothes. As the adjacent photo reflects, there they were ready for the next leg of their life’s journey and my best hope could only be that the clubs would bring as much enjoyment to their new owners as they had me and my mom.
Perhaps it seems that I am wallowing in large measure here in good old self-pity but not really. As I grew older and began to reflect on old age and what it would bring I knew that many of my life’s passions and pleasures would have to be set aside at some point along the way. So now that most are gone I try not to reflect on what I have lost but rather the joy that all had brought to my life. And I have to say given that, that the joy and pleasure I received leaves the loss of those things but a fading mist for the most part.
Over the next few weeks I finally got the house back in shape storing many of the items in spare closet space to include closet floors. One closet is where I stored my CD collection, some 425 of those, so I gave all of those to my little sister which gave me a lot more shelf storage room for some of those smaller attic treasures. I made one more call to Big Brothers/Big Sisters and had them come by and pick up my final load of donations from the big attic clean out.