Cartoons & Jokes

The Tenderness of Motherhood….

Originally Published November 3, 2009

The tenderness of motherhood exists throughout the world we live and we humans, as well as our animal counterparts, seem to honor and exhibit that tenderness of motherhood in exemplary fashion. A tenderness that is exhibited whether it is…..

Motherhood 1On A Riverbank….

Motherhood 2In The Artic….

Motherhood 3On the African Serengeti….

Motherhood 4In the Oceans….

Motherhood 5In the Jungles of India

Or…..

Motherhood 6At a City Park Near You

The Turntable Time Machine….

I stumbled across this video a few weeks ago and it became an instant favorite….

After a knock on her door a young lady goes to the door and finds someone has left a small package at her door. She opens it to find it is a 45-rpm record titled “A Single Life“. She places it on her small turntable and begins to play the record and shortly after realizes that dependent on where the needle is placed on the record, it has the effect of moving her life backwards and forward in time….

“Daylight Savings Time”…. Cancelled!

Daylight Savings TIme

No, it’s not really cancelled! Just wishful thinking on my part! 🙂

It does beg the question however, with regard to “Daylight Savings Time” and the fact that it’s almost upon us once again, are you a ‘DST advocate’ or a ‘DST opponent’?

When I was much younger this semi-annual time change occurrence was of little consequence. Well, maybe for a week or so to adjust my sleep ritual it was an irritating event but other than that, no problem. But now that I am older I have little use for DST. In fact, the earlier it gets dark, the better. Perhaps it has something to do with energy levels. Now that I am older it seems I am full of the old ‘vim & vigor’ in the morning but come mid-afternoon and I am sinking fast.

Well, guess it’s not really worth worrying about because it’s not likely to be done away with in my lifetime…. 🙁

The new “First Date” greeting card….

Since I have obviously brought up the subject of greeting cards in my previous post, there was a moment in time, however fleeting, that I was contemplating a new line of greeting cards. I mean let’s face it, there are greeting cards for just about everything these days. But there is always room for a new one if you can conjure a niche for one.

In my case and being up front and quite honest about it, I had created the greeting card before it struck me as to the new creation harboring the possibility of becoming a new genre of greeting card. And it seemed even more appropriate as having a “first date” application.

And there is the functional aspect to having and giving such a card also. The giving of such a card to a new love interest expresses the fact that surely you are a thoughtful and caring person, one not likely to forget get those infamous birthdays and anniversaries as the years roll by.

Without further adieu let me get right to the card presentation. Directly below is a card I believe would be a barn-burner in the genre of “First Date” greeting cards….

Greeting Card - First Date(Click on image to enlarge)

I mean let’s face it…. in today’s society the time between visualizing a love interest as naked and the actuality of the real occurrence is an extremely short amount of time. In my generation however, those visualizations were continued over weeks, months, sometimes even years before being consummated into just the glimpse of the female naked body. But these days it’s my understanding that one is lucky to get through dinner before the breast makes its initial appearance.

And this my friends is the kind of post you come up with when the well has pretty much dried up. Have a good one…… 🙂

The Tenderness of Motherhood….

The tenderness of motherhood exists throughout the world we live and we humans, as well as our animal counterparts, seem to honor and exhibit that tenderness of motherhood in exemplary fashion. A tenderness that is exhibited whether it is…..

Motherhood 1On A Riverbank….

Motherhood 2In The Artic….

Motherhood 3On the African Serengeti….

Motherhood 4In the Oceans….

Motherhood 5In the Jungles of India

Or…..

Motherhood 6At a City Park Near You

Me, Woody and his friends….

Assuming, with a few exceptions I’m aware of, that most of you who visit this blog are probably grown adults, I am wondering if I am the only one who still maintains a toy collection. No, I don’t mean the toys I had as a child but rather the toys that I have adopted – given my current age. As an example, after watching the movie “Toy Story” I, like many of the other kids, just had to have the “Woody” character. So some dear friends got me one for a birthday gift. And before that, it was E.T. who captured my heart.

A couple of years ago I gathered all my current toys together for a group portrait. Everyone seem to enjoy the experience but as always Woody garnered most of the attention. And deservedly so since he seems to look after the rest of the clan.

Woody & Friends(Click on image to enlarge)

Certainly I don’t sit in the middle of the living room floor and play with them (like I would admit that) as if I were six years old, but they are the toys of my life, at this time in my life. No matter how old you become, it seems some things just don’t ever go away and thank God for that. These little characters surround me in my little office as I toil away at my computer and are a few of the treasures that almost always bring a smile to my face and take my mind away from my troubles, perceived or otherwise.

I am reasonably sure almost everyone has something that fills the toy void. You know, a lot of us adults begin to refer to them as “collections” so as to not infer or admit they are really our beloved toys. They take us back to a time when we had no cares or worries, even now they work their magic, even if only momentarily.

Well, I have been ‘Simsonized’….

While visiting the The Artist’s Magazine Blog that I have been frequenting, I ran across an archived post there that I found very inviting. It was a post referring to a website where one can actually be transformed into a Simpson-like character featuring his or hers own personal basic features and attributes. Now admittedly, I am not a huge fan of “The Simpsons” but nevertheless, they certainly seemed to have attained an “iconic” status.

So…..off I went and “WALLA”! In a matter of a few short minutes the on-line transformation had been completed.

Alan Simpson Portrait 01 - 1

And so it is that I have been “Simpsonized” for all posterity. And I have to say that I finally feel better about myself now. Of course, if I ever find myself invited for a guest appearance I would certainly have to demand that they use Robin Williams as my “on-air” voice. I mean with a face like that you have to demand the best.

Alan Simpson Portrait 03 - 2

Oh…..and if you want to be Simpsonized just click “here” and good luck with that new body!

Legend of the Mermaid… Fact or Fiction?

Sorted - 285

I have always assumed that if I ever had an encounter with a “mermaid” that it would be a happy occasion as reflected in the animated graphic above. Of course that is assuming that you have some measure of belief that these lovely creatures exist. Well….after my latest adventure I have come to a confirming conclusion.

Yesterday was a nice sunny and cool day so I decided early to head down to the Arkansas River and do a little bowfishing. The carp have been a little scarce this year in the location where I usually experience some measure of success but it was such a nice day I just had to get out in nature.

After about an hour of stalking the bank of the river in search of prey, about some twenty-five yards out from shore the water began swirling ferociously and I could not believe the size of this fish. I had yet to see it but it was quickly moving my way. I quickly assumed a firing position, drawing back my bow waiting in nervous anticipation hoping the huge fish would present itself for a shot. Then just as the fish was about to break water near the bank and give me a shot, it quickly changed direction, perhaps seeing my shadow on the water, and headed back toward the deep. I immediately let fly the arrow and within an instant knew I had hit my mark. It was huge and it had fight. After about a half-hour I finally was able to subdue the fish and get it to shore but that is where this story turns from exciting to unimaginable.

It was not, as I had assumed, a fish that I had just drug up onto the bank. No! It was a “MERMAN”! That’s right….it wasn’t a mermaid….it was “MERMAN”. I had never heard of a “MERMAN”….only a mermaid. I thought to myself, “It must be a “merman” because mermaids are supposed to have boobs.” Oh well…..let’s stay away from the technical aspects and get back to the adventure.

Unlike the solid nerves that I had exhibited in my younger years when known as “snake boy”, I was quite shaken by the events at that point. I quickly removed the arrow from the lower torso where I had snagged the creature. Except for a twitch every now and then, there was no movement. I was confused. What do I do? Within a few minutes the “merman” appeared lifeless. I knew I couldn’t get it into my ice chest for purposes of preservation. How could I get this creature back to civilization? It was far too large to drag back to my car which was at least a half-mile away. I knew if I called the game and fish folks on my cell phone that no one would believe me. My only choice was to try to hide the “merman” in some bushes until I could go and get a game warden or someone from the game and fish commission. I dragged it into some bushes close by. Then I decided I should take a quick photo in case I needed some measure of proof when I was soliciting help from the game and fish folks. So I took the photo you see below.

Mermaid On A Beach

I quickly drove to the commission office, related my story showing them the little photo on my digital camera display and off we went back to the river. But alas, once we reached the spot there was no longer a “merman” in the bushes. We could see where he had apparently dragged himself back into the water. They spent the next hour or so looking over the area and questioning me. I think they finally concluded that I had faked the whole thing.

Well, there you have it. That is the long and short of my bowfishing adventure yesterday. Regardless of what the game and fish folks think, I knew that sharing this story with my blogging friends would give me the support and belief I so deserve after this harrowing adventure. 😀